Welcome to my new website!
Before you reached this post you will probably have got acquainted with who I am and what I do from reading my home page and you may have read my story. You may also have noticed if you flicked through other pages there’s no content on them yet. Let me explain why I have launched my website and blog before I’ve finished every page.
When I first started writing about my farm life 10 years ago, I’d just moved my family and farm from our home in Yorkshire to a rented farm in Scotland, embarking on the biggest adventure of my life so far. It was idyllic we had such a beautiful life. I had lots to write about as my small farm grew, raising my three children as a single mother we got up to all kinds of things we thought were the stuff dreams are made of.
As the years went on we moved farms, my children got older, I met a man, we bought the farm I’m at now and for a while, apart from the odd bump in the road our beautiful, happy, sheltered farm life continued. I loved writing and posting on social media, I’d got quite a following, I was happy and proud of my achievements and enjoyed sharing it with anyone that was interested.
Not long after we bought this farm – about four years ago, things changed quickly, dramatically and without warning. My happy farm life became one nightmare after another, I continued to write struggling more and more to find anything good to write about, until eventually my blog felt like a lie. I didn’t resonate or connect with it anymore because the wonderful, idyllic farm life I used to have was gone. Struggling personally to make sense of this new life, battling with mental health for the first time in my life as I suffered with awful depression without even recognising what it was and trying to hold it all together became my daily life. I wasn’t proud or happy anymore and as I had nothing good to share with the world I stopped writing and withdrew.
I went through a lot over those few years, it eventually came to ahead 16 months ago in August 2018 when I found out my partner, the man I loved and trusted without any doubt had been horribly deceiving me for a long time and a year to the day that I launch this website he tried to take my life.
Over the past year, since all that happened I realised I’ve embarked on another new adventure, moving on, re-building my life and myself has actually been a very positive experience, I’ve fallen back in love with my farm and reconnected with the world around me, that meant so much to me but I’d lost completely and I’ve learned a lot about myself.
I’ve been building this website in my head for a while now but not had the courage to do anything about it, also, since I’m being honest, feeling slightly embarrassed to tell my story. I have spent months preparing for this, I could spend forever writing and building my website and never have the courage to actually launch it, making excuse after excuse (as I have been doing) but I made a promise to myself, to rebuild beautiful. This is part of that journey for me.
It may not be perfect (yet) but hey, that’s life! This date is personal and important to me, not only did I survive this day a year ago I have thrived since. I’m still moving that mountain, I take everyday as an adventure on my little farm and no matter what happens from here on in I’m incredibly grateful to have the life I have. If my story helps just one person in anyway, that will be my greatest achievement.
Thanks for stopping by, it’s a pleasure to share my journey with you.